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We all know assertiveness can be very helpful to lead a successful life with clear relationships and healthy self-esteem. But, still, most of us fail to be assertive. Several factors might stop us from being assertive. I am describing below are the 5 Factors that might stop you from being assertive. You cannot change or improve what you don’t know!

Hence, Understanding each of them can help you slowly eliminating those factors from your life. Below are the factors which normally stop you from being assertive.

5. Self Belief:

Most importantly, the prime factor which stops us from being assertive is our self-belief. We have some pre notions which might stop us from being assertive. These pre notions might be, If you speak assertively, you might hurt someone or, you might ruin a relationship if you speak assertively, or someone might feel embarrassed if you speak assertively or with assertiveness, you might be loosing all that you have and so on. These kinds of beliefs can stop you from being assertive.

Believe me, these are just thoughts. You will have the biggest loss if you are not assertive is – You will be unable to clearly express yourself to others, yourself and you will live with low self-esteem which is not less dangerous than living with the fear of dying.

4. Wrong Understanding of Situations:

There are some cases, where we might understand the situation wrongly and don’t communicate assertively. Though, you cannot be assertive every time. You need to judge a situation and be assertive. But, there are several instances, where you might react and communicate passively or aggressively whereas, the situation could have been handled better with assertiveness.

While we cannot plan any communication or any behavior properly as this is an instant reaction that happens at our subconscious level when you start practicing assertiveness, we start training our mind with assertiveness as well and the more we practice, the more it is trained.

3. Poor handling of Stress or Anxiety:

You might come across lots of incidents, which make you stressed and anxious. Your physical body reacts to these stress and anxiety and as a result of which, in most such cases, you are unable to think and act clearly. And, in these situations, framing assertiveness in your communication style is almost impossible until and unless it’s your natural style.

Again, as explained in the above point, assertiveness teaches you to calm down, analyze the situation and then, perform better reaction to that -which helps you overcome this challenge.

4. Your Culture and Values:

Your culture and values play an important role when it comes to practice assertiveness. It might be the way you are bought up, the way you are taught which might stop you from freely express what you think and feel and express yourself clearly.

You have to realize whether such values are creating any barrier to your assertiveness and if the answer is yes, you have to simply change the way you look at your values. There is nothing more dangerous than living with low self-esteem.

5. Your Skillsets:

Assertiveness can be learned and that’s why you are reading this blog. It may be possible that you understand what assertiveness is but you are confused about how to start the same. So, in lots of situations, your current skills become a great determinant of your assertiveness.

So, here is the plan to overcome this challenge :
Search some good courses/ books on assertiveness. Unlearn everything and learn and implement in your life. Make a plan to implement the assertiveness step by step. Don’t do it at once or overdo it. It’s a practice and learning is a journey. Hence, assertiveness can be practiced slowly and you can see how your life changes. Your surroundings will not change but what it ill change is. – your outlook, your way of looking towards it and your way of reacting towards situations. And that’s what is required. Changing yourself rather than the situation!

If you have any among these 5 factors that might stop you from being Assertive, I am sure you can overcome those with proper strategies.

I wish you a fulfilled life with healthy self-esteem!